I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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