Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
