I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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