I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
