i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
