nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
