You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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