im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
