guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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