Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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