i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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