quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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