Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
