I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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