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She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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