Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
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no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
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I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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