Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
