why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
