Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
