If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
