whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
