So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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