Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
