who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
