he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
