Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
