Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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