Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Actions speak louder than pants.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
