don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
