we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
