i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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