i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
