so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
