hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
operation have a gay friend backfired
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
