i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
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The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
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I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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