Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sorry about my life...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
