So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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