she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
