Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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