Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
In other news, I just burned my penis
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
