Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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