I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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