You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.