Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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