What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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