I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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