if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
