She announced her abortion via fbk
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
