He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
