So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
