If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
