yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
