so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
