I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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