Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
