I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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