The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize