i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
