I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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