No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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