she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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