If i come over, it means nothing
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
