o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
