oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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