3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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