question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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