Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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