if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
